Today, I made a fake cigarette. I rolled up some strips of paper and pretended to smoke it. My family thought I was crazy. Especially, my husband, who refused to be in the same room with me during my pretend episodes. I don't blame him. I felt crazy too. I know I have come too far to go back now. This was the only form of relief I could get.
I thought hard today about picking up my old E-cigarette and taking a few puffs. I am glad the thought quickly passed, and that pretend smoking was sufficient to get me through this day...
Something else from today, was that I felt my throat trying to clear all day. It was like there was gunk in there trying to come up all the sudden. My voice was also acting up, going in and out at random times. Sometimes, I would just squeak when words were supposed to come out. It had me worried and drove me crazy!
On a positive note, I was able to get to sleep easier last night. In fact, I believe I just sort of passed out pretty hard. Not sure what that was all about, but I will take it after the sleepless nights I first had.
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